Gator’s Gwanna Git Eyu!
Casey kept repeating that phrase after overhearing a mom say it to her three year-old daughter at Alligator Adventure in South Carolina. Alligators are creepy but I’m terrified of crocodiles and their goddamned “death rolls.” And that is why the above photo is the Scariest Photo I’ve Ever Taken. If you squint you can see the massive outline of the jaws of Utan, the world’s largest crocodile in captivity. He is mean and sneaky. While I was staring at him through a two inch thick glass window pane, he eyes met mine at the waterline, and he ever so subtly began to make his way towards me. He was so methodical that I didn’t even notice he was moving at first until the teeth just under the water seemed closer than before. We stared each other down, with him moving closer and closer until a large group of tourists came running over to the glass, causing him to swim away. Thus ending my Myrtle Beach date with death.
